Finding Faith

Because I'm obviously having issues with this praying thing, I have some of my praying friends, praying for me. Thank god.

Let me tell you about the last time I prayed. My friend Alicia wanted me to meet her at one of our neighborhood bars this past Sunday. I got in my car, and because it had been raining A LOT, it didn't want to start. It's done this before, but after a few tries, it always starts. However, this time I tried like five times and nothing. I said, "dear god, please let this be one of my get out of jail free cards". Damn thing started.

I went to meet my friend, who is a pretty serious christian, and she pointed out that my prayer was answered. I'm like, "yeah, my prayer to get up to the local bar to have drinks on the sabbath; that was answered". She suggested that you never know what might have come of it, and that it might have been part of a path. Blah, blah, blah. Love you, Alicia.

I still pray to the ceiling fan, light fixture, and buddha statuette in my office, but really, I'm not feeling it. I need divine intervention, to assure me that I'm being heard.

Toast

Do you put the butter on the bread, and then put it in the toaster oven? Or do you toast the bread, and then put the butter on it?

The day of the hump. Wednesday.

I'm not sure where that expression came from, but I like it. The obvious thing to do, would be to Google that cocksucker up, but how tiresome is that. I don't really care for Googling. I'm a lazy interwebzor.  I did Wiki-it, and all I got was a bunch of gibberish about the origin of the word "Wednesday". Fuck that.

But anyway, today is the middle of the week, for us M-Fers. Oh, how I love being one of those people, after YEARS of being in the restaurant business, and working nights, weekends and holidays. Done, and done.

Today, like most days, was relatively painless. I got to go sit on my ass, and hang with one of my best friends. She doesn't even know it, but she's really quite awesome. Working with a friend can be hard, but really, how much closer can you get. No, I won't make out with you, Natalie... :-)

It was hot. Oh my gosh, it felt like August up in the 'Ville today. It made me grateful that I work indoors. Our trailer mechanic came in the office a few times, sweat dripping from his face, that was blood red. So glad I don't have that to endure for the remainder of the summer. He needs a raise.

I'm missing my dog today. Like, A LOT. I haven't posted about her yet, because it's still pretty raw for me. Two months since I put her down, I still think I hear her, still go home thinking I'm going to see her, and what really sucks, is I still smell her in the house. See, her doggie scent, really started to permeate the house in the last few years. I should replace my couch and bed. She loved to sleep on both. It's still so fresh to me, and I don't know who could possibly understand how sad it can make me, at any given time of the day, when the memory decides to rear it's ugly fucking head. I love you, Casey.

I miss my house. I've been at mom's for almost two weeks, with a little break on Saturday. I'm feeling a little lost with the moving back and forth. She made a comment the other night, about how IF and IF, she would want me to move in here. GET THE FUCK OUT! No to the way. I'm a little concerned about that, but she does project far in advance, when so and so dies, and the earth ceases to exist, etc, etc. HAYULP.

Thanks for reading, and I love you.

P.S. I still haven't been praying. Natalie is supposed to bring me a Buddha, and I'm going to get all Zennie. Yeah, like you can just introduce a statuette into your office, and get all peaceful and shit. Anyway, it's worth a try.

Followers, new blog name and suicide!

Followers:

I want more, but I don't. What to do?

New blog name::

I want one, but I can't figure it out.

Suicide:

How selfish is that?

The End.

Voodoo! Whoa!

Executive Voodoo Kit

My boss's wife gave me an Executive Voodoo Kit for Christmas. I just put it with all my other silly little trinkets at my desk. Then one day, I posted to her wall, that I needed a lock of his hair. Get this! She cut out a lock of his hair, and sent it to work with him. Innocently, and harmlessly, I stuck a pin in the right foot. Haha, right? Within days, he'd injured his big toe, gotten an infection, and today, had to have minor surgery on it. WHOA!

 

Prayer

I said I was going to pray, at least that first day. My intent, though not put into words, was to pray every day. Like someone trying to quit smoking, who falls off the wagon, I am here to say that I only prayed the first three days. Then I kinda forgot about it. I want to get back on track.

As I've mentioned before, it's not easy for me. Being 40 years old, and not having prayed (unless out loud at a church where you have no choice) my entire life, this isn't an easy habit to start. In fact, it might be right up there with stopping a bad habit. I might need to set an alarm on my phone, to remind me to do so.  That likely won't work.

How does one get in this habit, when so uncertain about the recipient of that prayer. And then someone as ADD as me, trying to calm myself long enough to focus on even a "hail mary". Hey, if I thought that a "hail mary" would make a difference in my life, I'd say it while on the pooper. Is that disrespectful? I'm sorry.

IT'S JUST A BLOG!

So, I haven't posted anything in a few days, or is it several. Mom always said that a couple is two, and a few is three. I guess that makes several, anything more than three. Anyway, I haven't posted in a bit.

I knew this blogging thing was going to be hard for me. I don't think much of what I would want to write about, would be of any interest to the general public. Then I remember that it's JUST A BLOG. Natalie blogs about nonsense, so why can't I. Love you, Nats.

I see a lot of people celebrating, in abundance, the death of Osama bin Laden. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I'm of course pleased that such a terroristic mind has been put to rest, but his wife and son had to go along with him. Then you have to remember all of the innocent victims that died because of him. But it's not like, now that he's gone, justice has been served. To imagine how many there are out there just like him, might make my brain explode. This is a fight that I fear can't be won. I wish we could just step aside now, and bring everyone's loved ones home.

Then there's my angst with pet owners, people who think they might want to own a pet, people who abandon their pets, and people who abuse animals. This consumes me everyday. I sure wish I could make it go away, but in fact, I'm reminded of it all the time in my Facebook news feed. I want to hide all of the rescue organizations, so I don't have to think about it. That's not going to make it go away. I want very much, to get the cajones to start doing more in the area of animal rescue, instead of just stewing over it all the time.

Awhile back, I had an idea to start a small fund, to provide collars and tags to pet owners. There's no screening necessary. You just send a request, and you will have a collar and tags for your pet. There's no major expense involved here. Rather, just someone who can make it happen. I want that to be me. I'm so sick and tired of people's pets (mostly dogs) getting lose over and over again, and them posting to Facebook about how sad they are, and please help me find my dog. They say they're like family. WHAT? If your pet were like family, either you'd keep a better eye on them, or at the very least give someone who might find them, a way to identify them. IT'S INFURIATING! I try to imagine it's ignorance and laziness. It likely is, so a little help from someone like myself might be greatly appreciated, right?. I dunno. I'm rambling here. Natalie says that's okay. IT'S JUST A BLOG.

Maybe I should change the name of my blog, to IT'S JUST A BLOG. Someone Google that for me, and see if it's already taken. Haha. 

I'm already putting too much thought into this post, wanting to go back and proofread and edit it. That's silly, huh? Right? That's not what this is all about. These are the things that are on my mind right now.

OH! And please, don't litter. That includes throwing cigarette butts out your window, or on the ground anywhere. Don't do it. It's disrespectful of the property owners, the earth, and pretty much your own sense of pride in your surroundings.

Now I feel like I should call this blog something about Kim's soapbox. I'm sorry, to my four followers. I love you all... :-)